 I think back at times and wonder just why God led me to where I am and what I am doing right now with my life. I guess first I need to explain just what I am doing with my “golden years” as most would call them. I am 66 years old and have been retired since I was 63. I really thought I was going to enjoy this time of my life doing exactly what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. God had different plan for my time in the years I have left. The thing about this is, I’m not complaining. I understand this is my purpose and why I am still living and breathing. I’m not going to tell you it is easy, because it is not.  My son came to me after years of us being apart, living in different cities and states and said Mom I want to start a clubhouse. He did this because he wanted to come home and live in the same state closer to his mother. How do you say no to that? You don’t and I didn’t. What I did wind up saying no to, by saying yes to him, were my “golden years”. Again, I’m not complaining, I know this is my purpose being led by God. Learning the knowledge about the nonprofit world, how it works and what it takes to start a nonprofit was my first hurdle. The art of fundraising, and getting people to follow you and support your cause is not easy at all. To say that there are days that I get really frustrated is an understatement. Everyone around me says that it is normal and that I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, but I don’t know how to do that.
As I look back and reflect on today, I can’t thank everyone enough that noticed I was feeling somewhat "off." They really helped. Everyone gets in a funk and has their bad days, but you don’t have to stay there. Members of the clubhouse told me what a good job I am doing. That really warms my heart. It makes what I am doing worth it and shows me I am doing the right thing by those living with mental illness. All of us want to feel good about what we are trying to achieve.  2 Corinthians 12: 9-10 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. Clarice G. 
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 It might seem difficult to talk about gratitude in these tough times when the demand is so great. I hope and pray all your needs are being met every day, especially regarding your mental health. Going through a crisis with the world can be emotionally debilitating. Which leads me to my evening a while back. As usual after a day of working on emails and other fundraising activities for Focus Clubhouse, Where our FOCUS TRULY IS Your Mental Health, I was enjoying some TV and rest. I received a text from my daughter-in-law inquiring about Focus Clubhouse and what we have been doing during Covid-19 since we are on quarantine. I shared with her about our Monday – Friday Zoom calls we hold in order to stay in touch with our members. We do this because isolation is detrimental to mental illness. I also let her know that we have helped our members; one with transportation to and from doctors and another member by bringing groceries that she needed. It’s little things like this we often take for-granted and in the life of someone suffering with mental illness, it can be more than an inconvenience. It can be a matter of life and death. Isolation. Like I said, detrimental. Then she shared the most exciting and flattering news with me. My daughter-in-law is nominating Focus Clubhouse for a grant from the company she works for. My heart was so full of gratitude and still is. It is important for others to share your passion, but when someone you love dearly shows this? What an incredible honor!  I am also grateful for the monies we were recently made aware of from a special Jeep parade during Madi Gras. But in all this, which is much to be grateful for, I think the thing that makes my heart swell with love and appreciation most, is our members. Each day they express in their unique and individual way how grateful they are for Focus Clubhouse and our Zoom calls Monday – Friday. They say it is because it allows them to see another person and awards them the opportunity to talk about anything that might have happened to them during the time we were apart. We had a member share with us today how his abandonment issues were triggered and he had a difficult time getting past those feelings of no one wanting him in his life. I let him know when those feelings arise, he could always call me. That’s what the Clubhouse is for. Support in troubled times. He was grateful.  So in a period when it might seem we have little to be happy about, let’s each reach out and tuck in a little gratitude. I’ve always believed God was guiding my journey here. From my son telling me about Clubhouses to the very people who have come to assist. Some stay the course, others descend after imparting their gifts and wisdom, and to all I am deeply grateful. Hebrews 13:15 states “Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise- the fruit of lips that openly profess His name.” Thank you, Jesus. I live with gratitude. Clarice Gallegos / FOCUS Clubhouse Founder and President   As I sit here and reflect on Mother’s Day as a whole, many things come to mind. The number one thing is being the mother of a child that suffers from mental illness. When I learned that my child had suffered minor brain damage from his birth my heart broke and still does today. Not for me, but for him. As this is a cruel world. I knew how hard his life would be growing up being different from everyone else. I knew how he would be bullied by other kids because he couldn’t keep up in school. I knew how he would be laughed at when he answered the question with a wrong answer. I knew making friends would be difficult for him. I knew no one would ask him to be on their team during recess. All of these thoughts broke my heart. Trying to explain to him why this was happening to him when he could plainly see that his brother didn’t have these problems was even harder. I didn’t understand it myself. I spent a lot of time saying “why me God”, why did this have to happen to my child. My first son was a happy and healthy child doing well. What did I do wrong to deserve this heart ache? I spent a lot of time trying to heal myself from all of the guilt feelings I was trying to process and make myself realize I wasn’t to blame. It is very hard to make it in this society if you are deemed “normal”, but if you have any kind of disability it is even harder. Those that suffer from physical disabilities have people stare at them and wonder what happen to them, but don’t offer any kind of connection, they just move on. In a few minutes they will forget. Don’t you wish you could forget too and be treated as an equal? I know I do.  Trying to explain to him why this was happening to him when he could plainly see that his brother didn’t have these problems was even harder. I didn’t understand it myself. I spent a lot of time saying “why me God”, why did this have to happen to my child. My first son was a happy and healthy child doing well. What did I do wrong to deserve this heart ache? I spent a lot of time trying to heal myself from all of the guilt feelings I was trying to process and make myself realize I wasn’t to blame. It is very hard to make it in this society if you are deemed “normal”, but if you have any kind of disability it is even harder. Those that suffer from physical disabilities have people stare at them and wonder what happen to them, but don’t offer any kind of connection, they just move on. In a few minutes they will forget. Don’t you wish you could forget too and be treated as an equal? I know I do. Imagine though if you are the mother of a child that has a mental illness. You have disciplinary problems that again you don’t understand yourself. Problems that lead your child not listening to you, not doing as you tell them, and talking back saying some really hurtful things to you. Your heart continues to break, because the words hurt even though you know they have a mental illness and don’t understand how their remarks make you feel. Some days you are at your wits end and say things you don’t mean as well. Then the guilty feelings come flooding in. As they grow up and become adults you watch helplessly as they try to work, but with their illnesses they are unable to get along in the work place. Then they look for someone to share their life with and that doesn’t last either. Their hearts just keep getting broken. They relive the ridicule they did as a kid but now they are an adult. It just makes them mad and they give up. Retreat and sit in isolation wondering why. Why did this happen to them? They ask that same question you asked all those years and are still asking. We as mothers will never quit asking that question, but know you are very important in their lives and matter most of all. It took forty-three years for my son and I to make peace and turn our hurt into something meaningful. Clarice Gallegos / Founder of FOCUS Clubhouse and Mother on a Mission Psalm 37: 4-5 Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this.  |
AuthorSThe purpose of this page is to engage our community by sharing stories and educating the public on the difficulties diagnosing, treating, and living with mental illness. In addition, we hope to encourage loved ones and those who struggle with their ongoing mental illness. Archives |
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